The Filter Theory of Attraction

Attraction is a complex process that involves a variety of factors, including physical attractiveness, proximity, and similarity. The filter theory of attraction, proposed by Kerckhoff and Davis (1962), suggests that we use a series of filters to narrow down the field of potential partners from a large pool of possibilities to a select few. This essay will discuss the three levels of filtering proposed by the theory: social demography, similarity in attitudes, and complementarity of needs. It will then evaluate the theory, considering supporting and contradictory evidence.

Social Demography

The first filter, social demography, refers to factors such as age, social background, ethnicity, education, and religion. According to the filter theory, we are more likely to be attracted to individuals who share similar demographic characteristics. This is because we are more likely to encounter these individuals in our daily lives, and we may also share similar values and beliefs. For instance, people are more likely to meet potential partners within their own social circles, neighborhoods, or workplaces. This supports the theory with the concept of proximity, highlighting that repeated exposure to a stimulus increases liking. This filter helps to explain why couples from different socioeconomic backgrounds or cultures may face additional challenges in forming and maintaining relationships.

Similarity in Attitudes

The second filter, similarity in attitudes, suggests that we are more attracted to individuals who share similar beliefs, values, and interests. This is because similarity in these areas can lead to feelings of validation, understanding, and shared experiences. For example, if two people both enjoy hiking and traveling, they are more likely to have a satisfying and fulfilling relationship than if one person enjoys those activities and the other does not. This stage of filtering is particularly important in the early stages of a relationship, as individuals are more likely to be attracted to those who they perceive as being similar to themselves. This is supported by research from Byrne (1971), which found that individuals are more attracted to those who share similar attitudes to their own.

Complementarity of Needs

The third and final filter, complementarity of needs, proposes that we are attracted to individuals who complement our own needs and traits. This means that we are more likely to be attracted to individuals who possess qualities that we lack but admire. For example, an individual who is shy and introverted may be attracted to someone who is outgoing and extroverted. Unlike the similarity filter, this filter operates on the idea that opposites attract. This is because having complementary needs can lead to a sense of balance and completeness in the relationship.

Evaluation of the Filter Theory

The filter theory has been influential in understanding attraction, providing a framework for explaining how we narrow down potential partners. The theory is supported by research findings. For example, Gruber-Baldini et al. (1995) found evidence of increasing similarities in couples over a 14 year period, suggesting that similarity is important for relationship longevity. Additionally, the theory is consistent with the matching hypothesis, which suggests that people are more likely to form long-term relationships with individuals who are similar to them in terms of physical attractiveness and social desirability (Feingold, 1988).

However, the filter theory has also been subject to criticism. One criticism is that it cannot establish causality. While the theory suggests that similarity leads to attraction, it is also possible that attraction leads to increased similarity over time. Longitudinal studies are needed to disentangle this complex relationship. Furthermore, the theory may not fully account for the role of individual differences in attraction. For instance, some people may place greater emphasis on certain filters than others. For example, some individuals may prioritize physical attractiveness above all else, while others may prioritize shared values and beliefs. These individual preferences can influence the filtering process in ways not explicitly addressed by the theory.

Another criticism is that the theory may be outdated. Modern Western society is highly mobile and diverse, and technology has reduced geographical barriers. Online dating, in particular, has significantly broadened the pool of potential partners beyond those we would typically encounter in our immediate social circles. This suggests that the social demography filter may be less relevant today than it was in the past.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the filter theory offers a useful framework for understanding the process of attraction. The theory's emphasis on social demography, similarity in attitudes, and complementarity of needs highlights the key factors that influence our initial attraction to potential partners. However, it is essential to acknowledge the limitations of the theory, including its inability to establish causality and its potential lack of temporal validity in light of societal and technological advancements. While the filter theory provides valuable insights, a comprehensive understanding of attraction requires considering a multitude of factors beyond those addressed by the theory.