The Lack of Symmetry in Contemporary Families

The traditional image of a symmetrical family, where roles and responsibilities are equally shared between partners, often fails to reflect the reality of contemporary family life. While progress has been made in challenging traditional gender roles, numerous factors continue to contribute to the lack of symmetry within families. This essay will explore these factors, drawing upon sociological perspectives to demonstrate why contemporary families are not all symmetrical.

Functionalism and Traditional Gender Roles

Functionalist perspectives, such as those presented by Parsons (1955), argue that the nuclear family, with its clear division of labour between men and women, is essential for societal stability. This perspective suggests that men are naturally suited to the "instrumental" role of breadwinner, while women are better suited to the "expressive" role of caregiver. While this traditional model is considered outdated by many, it continues to hold sway in many families, leading to asymmetry in roles and responsibilities.

Gender Role Socialization and the Perpetuation of Inequality

Oakley (1974) highlights the role of gender role socialization in perpetuating inequalities within families. From a young age, children are bombarded with messages about appropriate behaviour for boys and girls. Boys are encouraged to be independent and assertive, while girls are socialized to be caring and nurturing. This differential treatment contributes to the development of distinct gender identities and expectations that are then carried into adulthood and family life, reinforcing asymmetry.

Feminism and the Patriarchal Family Structure

Feminist perspectives argue that families are inherently patriarchal, reflecting and reproducing wider societal inequalities between men and women. This patriarchal structure grants men greater power and authority within the family unit. As a result, women often find themselves in subordinate positions, responsible for the majority of domestic labour and childcare, regardless of their employment status. This unequal distribution of labour and power is a key factor contributing to the lack of symmetry in many families.

The Dual Burden and the Illusion of Equality

Even when women do participate in paid employment, they often face the "dual burden" or "triple shift" of juggling work, childcare, and housework. While men may be taking on more domestic tasks than in previous generations, research suggests that women still bear the brunt of these responsibilities. This imbalance creates a situation where women are expected to excel in both the public and private spheres, leading to stress, exhaustion, and a lack of symmetry in the division of labour within the home.

The Dark Side of the Family and Power Imbalances

Feminists also draw attention to the "dark side of the family," highlighting the prevalence of domestic violence and abuse, often perpetrated by men against women. This darker aspect of family life further underscores the power imbalances that exist within many families, demonstrating that the lack of symmetry can have serious and harmful consequences.

Decision-Making, Task Division, and the Illusion of Shared Responsibility

The lack of symmetry in families extends beyond the division of labour to encompass decision-making processes and the allocation of tasks. Research indicates that men often dominate major household decisions, while women are relegated to managing day-to-day tasks and routines. Additionally, while men may be more present in family life, they often engage in "cherry-picking" of tasks, opting for more enjoyable activities while leaving less desirable responsibilities to women. This uneven distribution of power and responsibility further highlights the lack of genuine symmetry in many contemporary families.

Social Class, Ethnicity, and Variations in Family Symmetry

It is important to acknowledge that the degree of symmetry within families is not uniform across all social groups. Research suggests that women from lower socio-economic backgrounds may experience greater inequality within their families compared to their counterparts in higher social classes. Similarly, cultural and religious beliefs can influence family dynamics and gender roles, with some cultures placing greater emphasis on traditional family structures and male dominance. These variations highlight the complex interplay of social factors that contribute to the lack of symmetry in contemporary families.

Conclusion: A Complex Reality Beyond the Ideal

In conclusion, while the idealized image of the symmetrical family persists, the reality for many contemporary families is far more complex. Traditional gender norms, reinforced through socialization practices, continue to shape expectations and behaviours within families. Furthermore, power imbalances, often rooted in patriarchal structures, contribute to the unequal distribution of labour, resources, and decision-making power. While progress towards greater equality has been made, significant challenges remain in achieving truly symmetrical families. Until these underlying issues are addressed, the lack of symmetry will continue to characterize many contemporary family units.